Friday, 20 November 2015

Hello everyone,

Chances are, you clicked on this post because you have anxiety and are interested or thought 'oh god another post about anxiety' the latter reaction really surprises me. I have seen a lot of negative things about people talking about anxiety and even saw on twitter someone said 'has anxiety come into fashion?' 

Anxiety is no way shape or form a 'fashion statement', or us trying to be like Zoella.. I think is a good thing for us to be talking about, it is a really horrible 'thing' to have (I say thing, disorder sounds bit oo-err) Robyn from Phases of Robyn created #LetsTalkAnxiety for us all to get involved and start to talk about anxiety and fix the mental health stigma, also to remind that you are not alone in suffering with anxiety.

My experience of anxiety-

It is only recently I have been able to say 'I have anxiety' previously I have always thought it to be me just being a bit nervous and feeling sick and just passed it off as normal, not really talking about it because I was embarrassed and leaving it to just get worse. It was only until I heard people talking about it and giving it the recognition that I realised that I had it myself. 

I have had anxiety since I was about 11, I would feel sick all the time when I was in places I didn't feel comfortable or even just random times, this coupled with a fear or being sick (Emetophobia) did not go well together and I would end up in a riiggghhhttt old mess.

For a while my anxiety didn't crop up and it would just be the total irrational fear of being sick that would send me over the edge. At parties where people would drink too much and inevitably be sick, I would be sat somewhere crying. Trying to explain to someone that you are scared of them spewing their guts up is pointless if they don't understand what a phobia feels like.

Then when I was 16 I would have the occasional panic attack if I was in a busy place like a crowded restaurant, I would shake a lot and feel overwhelmed with panic, but then it wouldn't last very long, even then I didn't think I had anxiety, it wasn't even spoken about then, I literally thought this was normal for me and just something I dealt with.

As of this year, my anxiety has sky rocketed and I would say it is even out of control. It came on like 'normal' (right word? not sure) I was at a gig, and had to leave, I was panicky, feeling sick, panicking because I felt sick, then upset because of the whole palaver and why couldn't I just 'be normal'.

After that, it is happening all the time, I now worry that it will happen before I have even got out. For example, I really want to go travelling next year, but I feel like it is really holding me back and I am scared of it.

Of course, this shouldn't be the case for anybody to feel so restrained, together, we can talk about this, help each other, so we can continue to live our lives as panic free as possible. 

This post hasn't come from someone who has all the cures to anxiety, not in the slightest, I am just putting my experience out there.I find it reassuring to talk to other people about it, and it makes you feel less like a 'freak' more like a normal person with a normal problem. Guarantee you know at least 5 people who have anxiety and they can offer strategies in overcoming it. 

So if you want to get involved use the hashtag #LetsTalkAnxiety, tweet your post to @phasesofrobyn and we can get a whole conversation going.

Thank you for reading,

Loadsa love,

B xxx

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